mute

I sat in front of this computer for 45 minutes and typed nothing until now. I have not been thinking clearly lately and feel very vapid. I wish I had the words to talk about the myriad of things that have consumed my days in the last few weeks, but I have no words. The mind is cluttered and the soul is restless.
I don't know how to talk about the difficulty of balancing two graduate programs, working 40 hours a week, and being mentally, physically and emotionally available to the amazing individuals in my life. I don't know how to talk about the tragic loss of a friend who personified all that is good in this world. I don't know how to talk about all the controversy surrounding the possible changes at TCOM. I can't express how intimidated I am of the challenges of next semester. I don't know how to explain that lately I feel as if I am surviving more than living.
I need a sabbatical, a time of rest and reliance on God's provision. Not only the provision of the basic survival needs, but provision of mercy and healing love. This time of year, more than any other, is one of great hope, and I hope for restoration.